i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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