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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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