Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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