WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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