Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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