just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize