yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
