You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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