I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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