I cockslap morals
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
