He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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