oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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