There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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