Yo dont text me then not text me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
