you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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