Will you blow on my dice?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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