just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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