wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
