Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
