Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore

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(216): View more from Ohio

i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.

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(314): View more from Missouri

No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.

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(310): View more from California

When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

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(973): View more from New Jersey

had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude

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(201): View more from New Jersey

for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love

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(785): View more from Kansas

Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.

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