when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
