i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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