Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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