i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize