I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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