Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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