I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
love makes seman taste better
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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