he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
