YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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