I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
