Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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