Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
