yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
