Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
