I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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