Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
