i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
