don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
