i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Randomize
