I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
