he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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