My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
