he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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