32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
