She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
