i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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