It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
