Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
