I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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