I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
