it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize