I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize