Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Are we still banned from the library?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
