you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
