ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we made out on top of his cat.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize