Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
