you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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