I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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