Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
