You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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