I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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