sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
