you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize